Before we get to far into this blog post I want to give a little disclaimer. These are my own thoughts and opinions. I do not claim there is a right or wrong way to parent your children. Every child is different and requires a different parenting style. I think my parents took our circumstances into consideration and perfectly parented me for our situation.
I am extremely fortunate to have incredible relationships with both of my parents. I credit my great relationship with my parents as well as the person I am today to being perfectly parented by both my parents. I know this a very bold statement to make but let me explain. I am not a parent but I have noticed there are different types of parents. I have noticed four main types of parents: the insecure, the self-absorbed, the egocentric, and the perfect parent.
The insecure parents are the most common type of parents I have seen. There are many approaches to parenting but these parents do not have enough confidence in their own parenting style. These parents base their parenting techniques off of how other people think they should parent their child. They tend to chase the next parenting trends because they think it must be the best way to parent. Unfortunately, these parents get so wrapped up in worrying about everyone else’s thoughts and opinions about their parenting they forget to pay attention to the most important thing…their child. The child essentially gets pushed aside by their parent’s insecurities.
Then there are the self-absorbed parents. These are the parents who put their child in every activity imaginable. Their kid plays an instrument, soccer, tennis, takes voice lessons, has a foreign language teacher, and everything in between. From the outside looking in people think these parents are incredible taking their child to all these activities and events. However, upon further investigate you find they put their kid in all these activities so they can drop them off and go do what they want. Their child is not in all these activities because it is what is best for the kid but because their parents do not want to deal with them. These parents usually do not spend much quality time with their child. Their idea of “quality” time is making them a quick-microwaved dinner and then going to watch TV in the other room.
The third type of parents is the egocentric. These parents are the people who attach their own ego to their children’s accomplishments. They want to stroke their own ego by bragging about their child’s accomplishments even though it has everything to do with their child and not them. These are the parents who have college bumper stickers on their cars, wear their child’s picture on sports pins, etc. There certainly are parents who have these things because they are truly proud of their child’s accomplishment. However, the majority of parents use it as an excuse to brag. These parents attach their own self-esteem to their child’s accomplishments. In fact, some of these parents even go as far as tearing other kids down to make their child look even better and make themselves feel good.
The final and best type of parents is the perfect parent. These are the parents who do what is best for their child. These parents take their child’s circumstances into consideration and customize their parenting style to the needs of their child. These parents go to their kid’s events. Even if it is not a significant event but it is important to their child, they make sure to be present. These parents genuinely care about their child. They do everything they possibly can to make their child’s life the best they can and be there for them. These parents usually have positive relationships with their children because they spend quality time with them.
I think I have been perfectly parented by both of my parents. I have been taught to respect everyone, even those who do not show me the same curtsey. They taught me the importance of doing what is right even when it is difficult and standing up for myself. I have learned the importance of being independent and not relying on others for my own happiness. I have been taught the importance of dedication, passion, gratitude, and a work ethic. I have been taught the importance of doing things for yourself but that there is no shame in asking for help. But most importantly I have been taught to always stay true to my word and love others unconditionally. These are all the reasons I feel I have been perfectly parented. My parents did not teach me to be materialistic, they taught me to be a good human being. Whenever I got a good grade my parents were happy but they were over the moon excited when they saw me being kind to others.
My overall message of this post is not to criticize parents because I have seen some great parents fall short sometimes. Just because you slip up once does not make you a bad parent. I want parents to do what is best for their child regardless of what other people think but most importantly teach them to be good human beings. The reality of the situation is you cannot prepare them for everything that will be thrown at them in life. However, you help them build a strong foundation so they will never fault and will be able to handle everything that comes their way. That is what my parents have done for my sister and me. They have helped us create a strong foundation and when we are faced with difficult decisions they are much easier to face because we will not compromise our core values no matter how difficult.
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