I recently had someone in my life who has been dealing with some bullies. I could tell it was really getting to them. I know they had not been doing anything to provoke these bullies but they still kept coming after them. Individuals who become bullies as a result of underlying problems they have not dealt with.
Bullies have many underlying motivations for why they act out, which they may or may not understand themselves. These individuals are often insecure about themselves or their circumstances. People who have a lot of insecurities do not know how to deal with them so they in turn project them onto other people. When they project their insecurities onto others they end up pulling other people down to their level. If there is one thing I have learned about bullies is that misery loves company. These bullies do not see a way out of their situation and they do not want to be alone so they want to drag people down to their misery level.
When I think about the entire bullying situation I see how toxic it is. It is a bad situation for the bully because they obviously have some underlying issues they do not know how to deal with. However, I do not think enough attention is given to the victims of bullies. For some people bullies can be extremely detrimental to the people they bully because they care so much about other people. These individuals are often sensitive and think they are doing something to negatively impact their bullies. They begin to feel guilty for things they should not feel guilt about. These people may try and change themselves to make up for what they supposedly “did.”
The moral of the story is bullying is detrimental to everyone involved. I hope if you find yourself having bully tendencies you are able to get perspective and get help for any insecurities you may have. If you are the victim of bullying I hope this helps you to realize that you have not done anything wrong and you do not need to change.
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