I have been thinking a lot about the types of people we allow into our lives and surround ourselves with. When we are younger we do not have much choice over the people we are surrounded by. We are surrounded by family, friends, teachers, and so much more that we cannot control when our parents are making decisions for us. The people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on who we are, who we will become and where we are going.
I recently heard about what happens on a crab fishing boat and I thought it was a good depiction of the different types of people we surround ourselves with. If you talk to a crab fisherman they will tell you if you have a lot of crabs in your basket you have to put the lid on it so they do not get out. For most of us that makes sense. However, they will go on to tell you if you only have two crabs in your basket you do not need to put a lid on it. Most of us would question why. The fisherman will then go on to explain if there are many crabs in the basket they will help each other out of the basket. However, if there are only two crabs in the basket they cannot get out. Again, why is that? The crabs cannot get out of the basket because they will not let each other out. The crabs will literally keep pulling each back other down because they do not to be left behind.
When you analyze the situation, this is applicable to our relationships. When you are surrounded by people who want the best for each other and support one another there is nothing you cannot accomplish (aka “getting out of the basket”). These people pump you up and help you to achieve the things you have always dreamed of. These people do not have a scarcity mentality and believe there is enough to go around for everyone to win. When you think about it, big people make people feel bigger. This is not in arrogance, this is believing you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind too.
However, the opposite is true for the people in your life who are negative, cynical, and are not going anywhere. Small people make you feel smaller. These people do not want you to get out of the basket so to speak because they do not want to be left behind. They likely have had someone or something happen in their life that has tainted their view of the world so they think this is the best life is ever going to get. Unfortunately for you, that perspective is easily transferred to other people, whether it be intentional or not. No matter how hard you try, if you surround yourself with these types of people you will never be able to get out of the basket because your perspective of the world is tainted.
You need to be intentional with the people you decide to surround yourself with. At the end of the day, big people make you feel bigger and small people make you feel smaller. You want to surround yourself with positive people who support you because they will help you feel like you can accomplish anything, which will help you achieve your goals and aspirations. It can be a difficult process to evaluate the people in your life because you care about them. However, a huge part of selfcare is your environment and the people in it. Maybe you have to cut people out entirely or limit the time you spend with them. It will be difficult but you have to put yourself first because no one else will. There is no shame in wanting more for your life.
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