What is the Real Purpose of Dating?


A relationship…it is something we all want. We all want to find that person who makes us feel special, loved, appreciated, and so much more. It is funny that I came across these videos because it really hit home for me and I think there is a lot we all can learn from these videos. These videos are targeted at 8th grade boys and girls to help them understand the purpose of dating. I realize most of you are past that age but many of us still do not understand it. What is the real purpose of dating? The purpose of dating is to find the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with, our future spouse.

Society has done us all a disservice. Society has taught us that people are objects to be objectified. We have learned that if they are not putting out, then we should just move on and society has ingrained in us that this is normal. We are taught that if someone can’t do something for us…if they can’t get us excited…they aren’t worth our time…From the first moment we meet someone we decide if they are worth our time, we determine their worth without hearing a single word out of their mouth.

Now flip the script…that same person you were judging and determining their worth is your son or daughter…that changes things doesn’t it? How would you want them to treat your child? I think most of us would respond with respect and honor. Well then why are we not treated the people we are in a relationship with in the same way?

Remember, the people you are dating if they do not become your wife or husband they will become some else’s…If they do not become your spouse they will become someone else’s…just let that sink in. Where ever your future spouse is right now how do you want them to be treated?  How many relationships do you want them to have with someone who isn’t you? How many intimate relationships do you want them to have with someone who isn’t you? You ask a guy how many relationships they want their future wife to have or how many guys she has been with before them, they will say none, zero. None of that. No kissing, no touching, no snuggling, none of that. I want to be that person who gets to share those moments with her. You ask a girl and they say the same thing. So why are we not dating with that in mind!?!

Your heart is the most special gift you can ever give someone. Every time you are in a relationship in any capacity, you are giving them a piece of your heart. Once you give away a piece of your heart you cannot get it back. Just think about this, you have lived your life and done everything you wanted, now you are at your wedding day. You are standing in front of your soon to be husband or wife and they give you a gift: their heart. They tell you they decided to wait for you, every time they wanted to give in they made the choice to wait for you. Now it’s your turn, you hand them your partial heart and now you have to have a really hard conversation telling them you didn’t wait for them.

Society has turned people into objects to be objectified, but this does not have to be your story. You can set boundaries for your self. Setting boundaries for yourself is not popular. It is really easy to give in to everything everyone else is doing and just say what the heck. Boundaries are attractive but they are not popular. People will say you are a prude, weird, tear you down, spread lies, and think something is wrong with you but you will never regret making a good decision. No one will ever say that I wish I slept with a few more guys in college or went to more parties, no one ever regretted making a good decision.

Some of you might be thinking I am well on my way. I have already given away parts of my heart but you can make the conscious decision today to do better everyday moving forward. We need to stop letting society tell us how we should think, these are people not objects for our pleasure. If they are not your spouse, they might be someone else’s someday so respect them, yourself, and their future spouse. Make the decision to give your complete heart to your spouse when you get married because that is the greatest gift you could ever give them.

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