Judgment...

Judgment…we all pass judgment on one another whether we realize it or not. The majority of the time our judgment comes from our own insecurities and doubts. When we pass judgment on someone else we cause them to develop their own insecurities and doubts. Judgment creates a negative downward spiral in our lives and the lives of others. We buy into societies expectations, which cause us all to create a façade that we hide behind in order to feel accepted and loved by people we don’t even know. Consequently there are a number of topics we avoid talking about because we are afraid of the backlash. To avoid the backlash we sweep our issues and problems under the rug but eventually we create a mountain we can no longer hide. We need to start having conversations about these difficult issues on addiction, mental health, body image, and so much more. We all have our own struggles but some of our struggles are more acceptable to talk about than others. This makes it easier for some of us to get help than others. No one should feel as though they are alone and have no support from others. We all need to start having these difficult conversations because it could save peoples lives. 

Demi Lovato has been very open about her own struggle with addiction and body image. In October she released a documentary called Simply Complicated where she talks about her struggles. Being in the entertainment industry makes an individual vulnerable to a high level of scrutiny and criticism that the majority of us never face. That is a lot for anyone to handle. Demi was very young when she started in the industry and put a great deal of pressure on herself to succeed. As a result, Demi started looking for ways to deal with the pressure and found it in some dark places. At the time no one besides some of the people closest to her knew what she was dealing with. She eventually announced she was struggling with addiction and was getting the help she needed. Everyone has always loved Demi because she is real, honest, and herself. That love did not stop when she announced her struggles. I think all of her fans have been on her sobriety journey with her because they care about her so much. 

This past week Demi announced she had relapsed after six years of sobriety. There were a variety of reactions: sadness, disappointment, anger, heartbreak, etc. It is never easy to watch someone struggle especially with something so toxic as addiction and body image. So many people are criticizing Demi for her mistakes but they fail to realize her struggles are her own and are something she did not have to share. She could have very easily lied so she could deal with her struggles in private but she didn’t. Demi has chose to share her struggles with the entire world because she wants to help others who are struggling with the same things she does. She has handled this situation with dignity and grace. She is taking responsibility for her actions and getting the help she needs. She wrote a song to convey how she is feeling and in it she says, “I’m sorry for the fans I lost / Who watched me fall apart again / I wanna be a role model / But I’m only human.” I don’t think she has lost any fans because she is being the same person she has always been: real, honest, and herself. I honestly still think she is a role model because of how she handled this situation. So many of her fans are young and she has shown them it is okay to be imperfect but you need to take responsibility for your actions and be honest with people. She has shown us all that vulnerability can be our greatest strength.

We need to start having these conversations. We need to have these conversations with friends, family, our community, and more. We all have our own struggles and there is nothing wrong with that because we are all human. We need to stop ostracizing people and making them feel like they are less than for having their own demons. We are all on the same journey.